Selfish mom , thats me !!!

Lots of expectation and not getting things done , makes us totally frustrating . 

Thats what right now am going through . 

My poor lil gals , expected a grand vacation with their grandparents and it was all over in a jiffy. From the day one of v=her vacation, my elder one keeps asking me , when are we going to see grandma, and I keep telling her this and that , giving all silly excuses , and my inner soul was getting hurt , as even more than her , I was too wishing the same , to be in my mom’s house and be with her , enjoy my free time , with all gupshup and fights with her, going to temple with her early morning , and make her late for home on the way , talking and chit chatting and walking in the slowest pace , so that my time with her never ceases. 

Just to refresh up , from our boredom , we got a few days break and visited my parents , but it was like a disaster, not enough time to be with them , and by the time we were returning my elder one didn’t want to come back to her boring house here, and we parents had to keep on bargaining with her , promising another holiday soon here with her grandparents.  Some thing which in coming years , I have to do more often. 

I was in dilemma , I wanted her to be happy , but the selfish mom in me, wanted to be happy , so my selfishness took over her happiness and I feel the guilt still, because I couldn’t keep her happy ,and felt jealous , because she was happy with my mom in her home . Somewhere there was a tinge of happiness in me , because she is loving someone I love the most in my world.

After all all grandparents are like that , basically they are born to do that ….keep their grandchildren happy and satisfied and do whatever their parents don’t do for them . Whenever I see the enthusiasm in my daughter to go visit her grandma , I feel happy and excited as much as her , thats the only time when I don’t want to wake her up and trouble get her dressed up , even in the middle of the night.

Love u mom always ….sorry that am really selfish , as I cannot be with out my kids around.

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