Little hands with mehandi

AS a kid too I was so fond of mehendi . I remember when I was a kid , I used to put mehendi whole night in my hand , and holding my hands stretched as if am jesus christ held on to the cross , while sleeping . Foolish of me to think that , the more i keep it in my hand, the darker the mehendi would be. 

It was tough for me to sleep , whole night, as I would feel cold , but I don’t want the mehendi to be a disaster , so I take pain in, and sleep as such. When I put mehendi , my dad and mom has double work, I keep telling mom, here scratching there scratching, and I need help in putting the blankets on me, scratch the nose, etc etc…I used to get scolding at times too. Still my mom used to put it for me, as I always loved it.

I was reluctant to put mehendi myself , I thought I never knew to do it, or never actually tried it on my own. Now when my kids ask, I always tel, don’t worry when we are off to vacation at your grandmas place , she will put it. Every time I used to give this excuse , and escaped. Finally she started to think that only their grandma knows it the best.Now she don’t even ask me, she knows her mom is not gona do it for her.

This vacation, I was stuck, no escape, and I knew how much she adored putting mehendi , finally I thought to give it a try, and I did it. I could see the proud smile on her face , she was proud that I put it for her, although not a big deal design, just a simple one , but she was happy. Thats more important for me. 

Again, I tried my hands on the second attempt to make her happy , though my imagination won’t work well, seems its rusted, I sought the help of internet , and luckily got some designs which could save my image in front of her. And am perfectly happy in doing it now. 

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Happy new year

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All new beginnings need not be started on this very day, every day, is new , you don’t carry forward  any things, you just start , when you just have to. 

Enjoying every moment is a bliss. 

Am god to be enjoying all the moments in my life, ever since am a mom. Being a mom, was my turning point in life. The viewpoint changed, I started to know and understand people more pretty well , forgive and forget soon. My heart aches for all silly things too , things which I never bothered earlier. 

 I never used to be sad watching any movie scenes , something in which there was too tragedy, but now , its like , my heart aches ,when I see scenes like ,a kids being left alone,  tortured, or anything regarding kids. Is this the after affects of being mommy ??

Am not sure, when ever I see such scenes on screen or off screen , like on roads or anywhere, I feel a strong pain in my heart. I feel terrible, but I don’t know how to handle it. Just to feel better I take my child and hug them , and keep a promise that I will never leave them. 

For me every day is a beautiful day, even though am tired , exhausted , irritated, in the end, when am off to sleep, I just hug my kids, and feel the bliss of being a mom .Everyday may not be perfect, but has something to give us. 

Every year has given me, something precious in my life, many memories , unforgettable days , and moments and unforgettable people. I might not be perfect , i might have hurt someone, knowingly or unknowingly , still , every beginning requires , to forget all the hurts and problems ,and being it with all the happiness you can count in. 

So forgive and forget and enjoy all the happiness GOD has given in your life.Being fortunate to enjoy is also a luck. 

🙂

Happy New Year, let happiness be showered upon you all , without hurting anyone. 

new year ,thinking …

Days, months , and years are passing, we are getting older, things are changing around me, yet am there left to change.

Every year, I think , i need to this, i need to change something ,  but in the end, am all the same . Wondering why I need to change , I will be like this forever, whatever I do, my attitude to things don’t change until unless , the change is demanded in the situation.

Am mad, sometimes too normal, sometimes too much to handle , that even I don’t understand , what am doing, still , one things is good I believe , that am happy with my kids. They make my world colourful, they make my days and nights happier, I don’t remember when months and days  and years fly by , I don’t want  to loose a second with them, they keep me alive.

Every year I used to think , may be I should loose some weight, which is very impossible, because I cannot do it, more precisely , I don’t want to do. When am down with sadness, when someone makes fun of me being fat ( which I have being dealing for years ) , first I ignore ,and then when am thinking too much , i eat a chocolate ( 😉 , and to burst my regret, I watch movies.

Every year since childhood, weight was a issue in my head, but , now am least bothered, I know there are people who like me like this too, rather than asking me to change. Atleast my kids can cuddle around with me and feel cozy with me around. May be thats why am like this ( 😉 .

Just a silly excuse for myself to get convinced , that am perfectly fine. Every thing has its own right time to come , So when things fall perfectly in my life, why should i be bothered.

This year, I will never want  a resolution for weight loss, because  I just don’t want to do it. And for people who are bothered about others being fat ,

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🙂

Happy New Year !!!

Holidays are yet to finish

Daily my lil one keeps counting days, she doesn’t want the holiday s to finish , but she knows this is not indefinite . She want to be at home, with me and her sister, and enjoy or lazy around the house.

Morning are not a rush hour, you can just slow down , enjoy every moment, every bite of your nibble and sit down on the couch and watch all your fav tv shows. I know its everyones wish always , when we are small , its quite easy, but when we are big , am sure , we don’t get it.

Every morning she wakes up ,she asks me, mom today 5 or 6 ,she keeps forgetting exactly how many days are over, one way I don’t let her know too , so that , instead of counting she enjoys her day. I know even i used to do the same, keep counting the days and feel sad finally , forget to enjoy my days. 

WE don’t do much of an excitement things around , but be at home , even our xmas was like that, am too lazy to go out and in the end I don’t take them too , I too feel guilty of not making them enjoy their holidays. Poor girls they have such a boring  mom around .

I always like being at home , making my holidays look boring for others, but am always happy at home, than anywhere.The walls around me protect me, and thats the fun for me. May be I do a lil cooking , or be lazy and cuddle on the couch, or watch some movie, or switch channels on my TV, not even sticking on to some programs. 

May be am turning them to be like me, like couch potatoes, but one way am glad, she is not bored being with me. 

Happy holidays. !! 

Hope next year brings in a good change in me.. !!!

Songs and songs forever

When nandu was small, it was all the time cartoon or some fav rhymes of her on tv. My younger one, has a different taste, she like all movie songs.She enjoys all the songs , with a good beat , she dances , and enjoys singing  along ,and she has company too my nandu  , so she enjoys it even more. 

the songs keeps playing from morning till night, and in between that , fights for cartoon also will be going on, all the time. Its tough, and mostly my younger one wins , the privilege of being younger one. And myself and their dad , and my nandu, fails, and have to sit and listen to the same set of songs , over and over.

Nowadays , I don’t sing any songs, seems am getting enough of songs , its like in sleep also , I feel like the songs are played in the house, so nothing else seems to run in my head.

Height of addiction. 

Wonder when she will get bored with the same songs played over and over, I remember when I was in my teens, I used to record a casset full , one song, just to listen to it over and over. Now am over with such madness , and getting civilised.

I never knew my moms words would come true, like this. As she used to say , I will also have to understand how difficult it is to listen to a song over and over again , when you really got bored with it. 

History repeats.  😉 

when am away

Its a tough thing for moms , at times , to let go few things and relax. Yea, I am a kind of that. 

Whenever I leave my baby with their dad ,or anyone else ,other than my mom, I tend to give lots of to-do checklist , wherein I should not have to at times. Its a natural habit in me, even I am busy in some certain work , not away actually, I still give a big list, and their dad , gives me  an expression ” What a mad woman, don’t I know to do al those , why giving a long lecture” , I know its not told , but I can still think this will be the though going on in his head.

At times , I know some people don’t know to manage my kids ,and I have to give a long better options when one doesn’t work out. Some people I trust to a different level, I know they can handle any kind of situation they would encounter and they may come up with better options, than  the ones I could list out. 

The problem with me , am so obsessed with parenting that , I hate to leave my kids with anyone. And even if I do, the only time I relax is when am back with them , and hug them tightly. 

The secret wish is that, I want them to miss me when am away, and eagerly wait for me to come back and feel the better relaxed with me. Ofcourse am jealous to see if someone can handle my kids better than me, luckily only my mom can do it. 😉 

At times , I need to remind myself, that parenting is a task , that has to be done by both parents and not alone by mom. A kid needs both mom and dad, only then its a complete family. And as a mom , most of the times, I need to try to keep my kids happier, Thats why a big list of things come out of my mouth, when am not with them , because , I don’t want anyone to be imperfect for them, but be able to do atleast a minimal things which I do. 

my lil brave gal

She was happily coming home, with a big smile on her face,along with the security in charge of our apartment and I was shocked, happy , surprised, worried , and angry as well , a mixed emotion, but the only expression came up, was a smile  (with a heart beating and telling me , poor lil gal she doesn’t know). 

As usual , everyday I go near the gate to bring my daughter back to home, its a regular thing, but that day, as I was running down, since I was late by few minutes , but still relaxed thinking that the bus will be late ,as it is always , I was surprised to see my daughter walking down ,to me  with the security. I could see that she was proud of her self , the smile and happiness on her face, I didn’t want her to get panicked or make believe her that the world around her is bad ,so do not trust.

I just thanked the guy who brought her, she was full of courage ,she said , mom I told that guy, that i stay in this particular flat, and he brought me here, “mom I am a grown up now, a big girl “. I was so happy too, as she remembered whatever I taught her. I didn’t upset her, as I was sure she is gaining a confidence on her own.

I was angry that the people in her bus was irresponsible leaving her at the gate and going , I was scared a moment , wondering what would have happened , luckily GOD is not that bad . 

What i just did was , thank god and gave a lovely smile to her, saying she has done a good job. I want to build up her confidence, not to shackle it down with all those worried thoughts but at the same time, another day, I told her, that first you should be careful always, and wait for me anytime. 

I guess as always she will be listening to me.