mommy musings

My lil girl is growing up , and i guess she is loving it. Other day when her teacher said she is going to be 6 years , she is too happy , she keeps telling that she is a big girl . 

I guess its just the ,she wants to celebrate her bday and nothing else, wearing a pretty dress , with a handful of chocolates and getting loads of presents, I wonder how no kid will hate celebrating it .

Many times , i feel i confuse her .

When she does something i say , that you are a big girl , so just give it to your sister, as she is too small, and the next moment when she is upto helping me in anything , I will say , oh baby you are too small for it, you are my lil girl ,so just ignore it, mummy can do it . 

At times , i wonder why do i tell her , u r small or u r big , seriously I need to take a different track on this . Sometimes , the poor me , end up telling her , oh girl , one day you will feel bad being a grownup, so enjoy being a child, and be a child at heart , never grow up. 🙂

Am not scared of growing up, as am still  a kid at times.

lazy and finding me

When i see friends and reunion photos , I too feel , its good to be with friends at times ,the good old times we shared . 

We all so bound to  our lives that we forget our friends , some even forget our names and faces. But there are a few , with the help our  advanced technologies , still find it easier to be in touch. They make time for friends , may be they don’t see each other , but they still make sure that you know they are with you.

I too feel bad at times when , I don’t contact my friends back, I know they might think am showing attitude , or may be am not interested , but its not the way . People have sometime wrong notion about others. Everybody thinks that a homemaker like me is jobless. I know , writing a blog is itself seems like a joblessness job, with sumptuous time in hand , but I know , how am able to write all these, with a busy lil girl in my hand ,waiting to get my deviation from her , to do a mischief .

Its sometimes not easy to make others understand how and why , everyone knows it , only when they go through it.  Its not easy to understand everyones life. For me as a mom, whenever my kids are sleeping ,i  escape to open a book ,or my laptop , sometimes am stuck there, googling around, even though I have loads of work to complete. 

Sometimes am in some discovery channel mode, discovering me, in and out, finding out that , am wasting time , and sometimes ending up writing all these , making a mockery of ‘me’  and the end result is , i get loads of advices of how and what I can do. 

I feel special, as I have so many friends around to understand me , and helping me out, but am not depressed , am always loved by my dear ones .I live  in a cocoon of love  , never wanting to break it and fly out , even though i know there is a beautiful world, but one day ,everyone has to leave the cocoon  ( truth) .

womanhood madness in me

Reading through articles make me feel like writing at times , but sometimes I withdraw myself writing those, because of two reasons : 

one is that, am just inspired to write not because am going through it.

secondly, it might or might not have anyway relation to my own life. 🙂

just joking.

Sometimes I feel like am some messiah of god , and wanted to spread some good message , though its sometimes helpful for some one or may be not. Some may read it like fun and think am mad , but nevertheless my concern. 

Yea , I wanted to be as strong woman in life, show the courage to live on my own, do whatever i like to do , but womanhood is not about that for me. I wanted to follow what my parents taught me , and live now as others wished me to for  a healthy and happy family life. 

I wanted to be a rebel at times , but whats the point, I loose what I love the most , my family. Everybody sacrifices everything for one thing thats family, though at times we are taken for granted. 

I believe that , one fine day, all the broken pieces will come together and become united and will fill in  their respective places , the one place which is right for you.

I gained many things and lost many things, loosing something helps you to learn the value of it, be it a person, a thing or anything. As  a child I always wanted few things to be just mine, but when I loose it , i used to cry , hiding from everyone, because I hate to cry infant of anyone. But now ,going up,  I learned to be brave enough to loose anything. The more closer we get to anything ,the  more the chances to loose it . 

Many experiences coming in life teach you many things. At an early age, my dad tells , me that you should speak out your mind always  an be strong. Mom says , its better to be silent at times as others may get hurt. I was not sure what to learn and what to do , so finally am strong , and i don’t say anything, even if at times am hurt ,thats better .

I hate to hurt anyone , because the pain  is felt more for me than anyone else, I remember when I used to fight with my mom , its me who cries the most , because I fought with her, not that she is angry with me. 😉 , yea I was really funny.

Being woman is hardest , as we follow others wish as genie out of the bottle  , and never get a freedom, from their thoughts as we are bounded by love , not hate.