Mommy musings

Feel the snuggle

In the middle of the night

when the cold catches your veins

want to  just snuggle around 

your tender fingers move around my face

in the cold night, your fingers became the source of warmth to me

I held you in my arms, close to my chest

to let you feel the warmth 

even in sleep, you just closely propelled your tiny little fingers over me

I just wanted to sleep close to those tender arms 

you are the purpose and the factor that motivates me to live

one day when you grow up, remember me in your words and deeds

the love we shared and unending nights I was beside you.




Mommy musings

The inevitable truth

As I was busy in the kitchen making our dinner ready lost in my thoughts about what to make and what not to make, there comes my little sunshine running to me. Her face was so tensed, for a second the thoughts crawled in my mind .. worrying what exactly was going on in her mind. Her eyes had thousands of questions to me.

I knelt down, putting on halt whatever I was doing, giving her my full attention. I looked closely into her eyes. Her eyes questioned me before her lips could deliver the words. I waited … she uttered 

” Mamma, are you gonna die? ” 

The question was a little surprising. As some great people, I said ” All people die one day my dear. ” with a smile decorated on my lips. 

And the weird part for a moment I felt like I gave an intellectual answer, but the way she took it was totally vulnerable. I was stuck and then suddenly realized, how little she was to understand what I said. Before I could speak another word…. she started to cry 

” Mamma don’t die please, Mamma don’t die, please. You cannot die ..” She wept profusely. I was not sure how could I ever assure her a false promise that I would be alive. Just then I took her in my arms, convincing her that I was not going to die and be with her forever. 

My little sunshine brought out a million dollar smile on her face that totally lit my world up. 

For a moment even I thought, Death is something one cannot handle, but an inevitable portion of life.