A SMILE – IS ENOUGH FOR ME TO KEEP GOING

https://wp.me/p6y9QP-4Ws

Even a step, seemed like a mile

Image result for a woman lost her path

Illusions clouded my passion

never knew, that I will break my heart

one day, my loved ones

became the dacoits of my dreams

they abandoned me, to the chaos of my soul

never leaving a door open for me to return

I was lost forever,

none to take me back

lost in the agony of being the worst

never I knew,

I would be punished for the world being rude to me;

I wept, stumbled on various sins

yet, none came by

I was like the boat, lost on the bay

it was just a step away, my home

yet, even a step seemed like miles away

as the hearts were closed to me.

 

 

 

 

Key to my heart…

Related image

Drive me crazy,

as if I was the only one you belong to

fight me over

to let me cry when you kiss my pain away

let me scream

as you tickle my soul with pleasure

fill my emptiness

with all the love you shower on me

be my words

when my speech becomes numb

be the key to my heart.

 

 

 

Felt alive, all over

Image result for just you , I see

Living was monotonous

my lungs just filled in oxygen

and breathed out,

a numbness swelling in me

dead or alive, was hard to digest

as the meaning faded in my life

you just became the earth, felt my feet

you became the oxygen, that filled every inch of me

with a peck on my lips

my heart knew, what it was flowing in and out;

my skin felt the kiss of love

you discovered inches of me, that left undiscovered;

I felt what it was like pumping blood into my heart, with a single touch

I realised the value of my eyes when it struck with your reflection

I felt alive, with you in me.

 

 

 

 

Reasons….but

Related image

I fell in love

As my words never stumbled, when you heard them

I fell in love

As you never interrupted me, when I speak them

I fell in love

As you only interrupted me, with a kiss

I fell in love

As it was you, I was just myself.

numerous reason, flash by my thoughts, yet it was just not that

made me fall in love with you

every other second ticked by,

you fondled my scars, my unshaped curves

yet you loved me,

your eyes, contemplated at me

as if I was a prize to be cherished.

you make feel like I always wished for.

 

 

 

 

Once, twice or more….

Related image

In the moonlit night

I would be the one in your arms

holding you like, I never wanna lose

whisper in my ears, the words that enchant me

even when I know am completely drenched

in the sweat of your love

I can drown again, innumerable times

you are the one, for whom I can risk anything

just to be in your arms

longing for those long lovely morning kisses

that will summon the life in me.

 

 

 

 

Writing for me – Elixir of life

 

wp-1526873367055-2135366376.jpg

Getting married, at an early age- not a child marriage though. It was not the time I intended to get married that is what I meant.

It just led me to grapple enough during the initial phases of my life. It was the time when I felt I should give up and drop away most of the time. I was like a fragile age of 21- which was the budding stage of my career. Work, home and marriage were tough to handle, as I never knew what to prioritize.

Anyways, no repent over the spilt milk.

When I was accentuated out, I spoke to friends, finally, when I thought I was crushing them with my silly grievances, I finally found nirvana in music. Lost in the music, it was easier for me to work along. Even when I was exhausted after work, I plugged in my music and did my household works.

For years this went on if I did ever recall.

I was also someone who enjoyed a lousy day, sleeping all day along, watching movies, doing nothing but just munching on every day. Seems I was never a fortunate one to enjoy it, as I was carrying the burdens of expectation beyond my reach. Managing my own dreams was easier than working on others demands.

Seems I was too exhausted, as I was breaking away and finally gave up my job which was either not meeting my expectations or vice versa.

Then came the blessed moments of my life, which I attribute as the best of my innings and truly the reason that I am happier in my life. Thinking about it buds a smile on me. Indeed the driving force in my life.

When I became a mother, there was a transformation in me, something beyond my expectations. I started to keep myself second in the queues or preferably last and considered to meet the needs of my child first and then the rest and finally me (which never happened though). Motherhood indeed steps us into a different world.  A world beyond imagination – as the feel was tremendous. I was someone like a career-oriented one who focused on winning. But with my little one in my arms, I wanted to just win her smile. Nothing else ever mattered me then.

As years passed on, watching them grow is something I enjoyed the most. Blissful motherhood I could call. But there was a sudden havoc in my so-called mind. I was losing, as I realised I was getting exhausted. I needed to break away, but not on my child or anyone around. It was indeed the call for depression. It scared me more than ever- becoming a demon. This is when I decided to write and became a blogger. It helped me vent out my pressure that was building up. It brought in a realm of happiness in my life – as I could be a happier mother.

Being a mother, I was more confined in the four walls of my home. My thoughts rebounded on me and just made me a lot crazier. With my kids outgrowing my arms, I decided to get back to work, to be a good role model for my children. I wanted to be independent always, even it meant struggling for it. An ongoing struggle though, as my heart has grown brittle over the years.

I smiled all day long, even when I was hell exhausted until I break away on my bed. Poems soothed my mind and eased away my tiredness. I decided to work harder, I know its never easier, but I had my role model in front of me- My mother- She is the strongest person I ever witnessed in my life. She was my silent power, who struggled a lot to pin my life well. Though I never could be like her- she was the tinge of inspiration to me. She taught me to smile – even when there was a havoc in her world. I might not be a good daughter or mother, but I adhered to work ahead on my beliefs, following it even now.

All I do is write, which is my passion. As I write, it just soothes my mind, tantalizing and revitalizing it to face anything that comes along. So even when am completely exhausted, All I do is plug in my headphones and go ahead penning my favourite romantic poems. As I publish them, I am like the little girl who waits for the rewards. I wait eagerly for people to read and tell me what they feel about my writing. At times I pour in my weaknesses, my desires etc., that just pushes me along in my journey.

I am lucky enough to have my passion and profession the same. Writing not only brought back my financial stability but also reproduced a new me to my family and loved ones.

It is true when you are passionate, you never feel exhausted as your mind is always on a running spree. The enthusiasm drives me crazier to write more and relinquishes my frailty.

Writing for me is like an elixir of life.