#her story · #poems · Blog · Musing and Thoughts · Quotes · random thoughts · Some Things Important and Unsaid

Emptiness

A feel that kills half the souls.
Ever felt being empty??
The emptiness that is unexplainable.
It’s like you are not sad..nor happy.. can laugh ..can even cry…
But you are not depressed.
You are just in a state, where you feel nothing but just lost.
All you want to ..is disappear suddenly.
But again you want to be found.
Is it because you felt so much…in life..that suddenly nothing seems to cause any impact.
Or is it the loneliness that makes you feel so.

When someone asks me..what do i feel.
I just go blank..as if, am i dont remember what is going on with me…
Is it worst??
I dont know.
But all i know is i hate that feeling.
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Soulrecitals
#sreepriyawrites
#emptyfeeling #soulrecitals

#her story · Musing and Thoughts · random thoughts · Some Things Important and Unsaid

A Mango bite tale

Wanna bite..grab a mango bite.!!

Tanvi, a little girl from the slum…her everyday routine begins with her mom who was working as a maid in other posh apartments. Wherever her mom went, she accompanied her. The only thing her mother warned her was not to touch anything in those places. Tanvi knew her mom, so she never violated her mom’s words, even when someone offered her sweets she was hesitant.
The only thing that she waited for was the little mango bite her mom gives at the end of the day when they return home.
Every day, once her mom is done with all work, in the evening they walk by a tea stall..which is lined up with small toffees and cigarette packets. Her mom stops by for a glass of tea there waiting for her other friends who were also working in the apartment to come by.
The shop keeper Ram was quite friendly and every day offered her a mango bite..which she repays with a smile.
The moment she reaches the shop, she will be sifting around for her toffee. And before her gaze wanders away, Ram jumps out with a toffee. Her smile for the same brought immeasurable happiness to him.

And one day it all changed. As she stood there with her mom one day, there was no Ram and no mango bite. There was just another ugly looking man who stood staring at her as if she was a thief.
Days went by, she started to worry, as Ram never turned up…
And finally gave up her patience and asked her mom.
She received only silence.
That day, her mom did not take her along.
By evening when she returned.
She took Tanvi’s tiny hands and placed a mango bite…
And said.
Ram was no more now..he is gone far far away from all of us.

She held that mango bite tightly and gazed into those lonely corners which answered her nothing.

But life moved on.
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Soulrecitals
#sreepriyawrites #mangobite #story #shortstory #asmallstory #storiestotell #kindness

Mommy musings · Musing and Thoughts · random thoughts · Some Things Important and Unsaid · WFH MOM struggles

Engaging younger kids

What to do when your elder one has a lot to study and the younger one is all free.
Hard thing to decide upon…right?
Having two kids is indeed fun ..since most of the time i need not focus on them and they will manage on their own. Playing time its ideal, they both want to be together all the time.
But when it comes to studying…it is hard as the younger one is still too small to have too much to study.
When i ask my younger one to study something just to give her elder one company… A part of me says “it’s ok to let her study, else she will disturb the other ” ..another piece of me says ” oh!! Com’ on…she is too small to strain like this”… Conflicting thoughts are common in me and am always a scapegoat in this matter. Finally, before i decide..she leaves her book and walks away…looking at me with a look.. ” amma no more studying..am done”… Then again i just ignore my inner voices…and continue guilt-free.
It is hard to keep the younger one engaged.. usually, i just leave it to her..giving her a restriction that she should not disturb her sister…and then she targets me or her dad..who seems to be jobless for her.
This is the time, i get to think should i have one more kid..but another piece of me..kicks away that thought readily. 

Actually better not to think how to keep them busy, they are better off idle..as i see her finding out things to do on her own, and it’s much more interesting to watch…
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Soulrecitals
#sreepriyawrites #beingmom #secondchild #whattodowithkids #motherhood #thoughtsonbeingmom #momlife

#her story · Blog · Musing and Thoughts · random thoughts · Some Things Important and Unsaid · WFH MOM struggles

7 Ways to Cope with Work from Home and Kids Schooling during Covid

Most of the parents, i know and do not know are going through this same phase now. One side you are dealing with your deadlines and the other side you are handling the kids who are working on their new classwork or even exam. I know I am not alone in this. I know we all parents are braving through this situation which is quite new to all of us. Having everyone at home around and working on things is indeed a hard task.
Right now, both I and my partner are indeed full time working from home, but I am quite lucky that my mom is around and being an experienced teacher and a good mom she helps me and my kids greatly. Yet we all follow certain routines which can be handy for anyone, no matter you have help or not.
Here are some ways on how you can make yourself comfortable with this hectic schedule.

1. Make sure everyone has their own space.

To ensure there are no interruptions in your or your spouse’s work as well as your kids’ studies, ensure that everyone has their own space to work or study uninterrupted. Make sure when you need some space, you tell your kids that you need not be disturbed for a while.

2. Accept the fact that you are not in the office.

Being at home, it means you are always surrounded by kids or someone. Hence accept the fact that you are gonna be always working like this. Once you accept the fact, you will not set many expectations, which indeed helps a lot. Hence this is the new normal which you need to accept.

3. Communicate Well

Be it family or work, make sure you make realistic goals and communicate the same. Never overburden yourself. You can set yourself clear to your co-workers when you are working, that expecting a complete 9-5 job from you when you are at home is not advisable as you are subjected to disturbances at home. At times you need to be around the child, who is also dealing with an unfamiliar situation of learning online. Even the teacher might find it difficult to explain to the child, this is when you can hand in and help the child. Here now at home, when my elder one has a subjective test, I need to be around to click the picture and upload it soon as time is precious. At times my mornings are quite rush time with these activities.

4. Be flexible with your hours

Like in the office you cant set your time and be there working all the time. At home, you have constant calls from kids to feed them or some household work or maybe some help they need at studying. All these are unavoidable tasks, which you need to work on along with work. Hence ensure that you plan your basic activities and work alongside and go for Flexi hours. When you are needed to be around the kid, be that, and then plan your work after that. The first thing you need is to make your mind understand.

5. Schedule

It is very important to set up a schedule in your everyday life. Plan to finish all your cooking for breakfast and lunch before in the morning and then plan for work. If you are cooking separately in the evening for dinner, do it along with the tea and snacks. Make sure you plan your meals and hence purchase accordingly stuffing in the fridge like vegetables, batter etc. It is not just you who can make it right, ensure everyone at home follows the same. Motivate the kids to follow it too.

6. Relax time and break time

Don’t just sit and work, take time out to relax and even spend time playing with kids. Or even grab a book to read. It will help you stress less and polish your brain and body with new energy.

7. Don’t be too stringent to yourself for being perfect

Be imperfect there is nothing wrong it. Sometimes you might all go wrong, it is ok. Just trust yourself and then go with the flow.

I hope these tips help you out in this COVID times. Managing home, work and kids at the same time is indeed a tough job. And remember you are doing great. Keep doing it, and remember to chill.

#her story · Blog · Mommy musings · Musing and Thoughts · random thoughts · Some Things Important and Unsaid · WFH MOM struggles

Smiling Depression – Are you the one ?

Depression, quite a common topic that is trending yet silently killing people. After the Sushant Singh’s suicide or murder.. whatever, this has become quite a popular thing to talk about. Those who were the victims of depression never must have got this much support as they did after their death. I wish they had that much support at least way before they did the suicide, then they would have survived.

Ever thought, why we go unnoticed about such a virus that never leave a trace of its existence in any living being.

It is primarily because we never even bothered to notice it.

 Did you ever give a try noticing it?

Smiling depression is a real problem, which people who are depressed try to mask their depression with a smile or laughter. Most of them try to convince others that they are happy and invariably hide their problems with a smile. Consequently, this type of depression, goes unseen, as most of them never cry or show they are really sad. And slowly this depression, injects the poison in their lives and seclude their soul into hidden caves and finally drink all the life from their heart. It is more like a slow poison, still unknown to many.

Do you know whats their mistake?

They don’t go around for unexplained bouts of crying, express sadness or anything of that sort. They also don’t show a tiny bit of grudge or anger or unexplained thoughts on their face.

Remember the ones suffering from smiling depression, often looks happier and satisfied in life, because they do not want to display such sad emotions and cause worry.

Signs and Symptoms of Smiling Depression

Do you find it difficult to express your sadness and pretend to you are happy?

Do you constantly fight with your inner self to express the real emotions and all you do is just smile to disperse it?

Do you know anyone who is dealing with the same?

Then here are some of the tips to help you detect smiling depression. Hope with these you can help someone. or help yourself.

Symptoms

It is said that most of the people who are dealing with smiling depression may experience profound sadness, low self-esteem etc. Most of these are hidden and hence not easy to find out. We need to correlate various aspects and then decide upon the same.

Possible signs

It is really hard to find the symptoms when it comes to depression. One thing you can do is observe the less obvious signs that will help us to distinguish their behaviour. It is important to look for minor things like what their routine is, what they stopped enjoying, which they used to do before or changes in their habits etc. Let us take a look at somethings that might be possible signs to detect it.

Changes in appetite – More often, you might observe that depressed ones either overeat or lose their appetite. It is quite common to see such variation.

Changes in the pattern of sleep – Some of them experience oversleeping or less sleep. Some cant even sleeps even when the body is extremely tired and exhausted. Or some stay awake all night and sleep almost every time during the day.

Feel of hopelessness all the time – Hopelessness, feeling unworthy, lost and undermined are some of the feelings which are quite common in such people.

Loss of interest in any activities they enjoyed earlier- Such people, stop doing things which they always enjoyed doing.

Yet,

Despite all these symptoms, people with smiling depression are hard to distinguish. They might be around us, like a strong companion, runs errands and even handle the job well. Also, they might even look optimistic and cheerful. They might even be a crowd gatherer, but deep within their sorrows lay hidden.

This is why it is always important to talk about your mental health to someone. But again never pour yourself to a judgy and clingy one. They tend you make your sorrows worst. Choose the right listener.

The right ones, always encourage you and let you be open and straighten your thoughts in the right direction.

Why do people hide their depression?

Quite simple, because people assume they are weak or rather are not brave enough to embrace their life situation. Some don’t want to burden others with their problems. This happens most often when they are people who are the caregivers rather than the caretakers.Most of them never know how to seek help. But yes they are the best ones who will hold their hands out to help anytime. They can even distinguish your worry and happiness without being told. Sadly they never find anyone who could read their mind.

Again the embarrassment is another factor that let them shoo away from sharing their problem. Blame it on the moments when they try to open up to the wrong person and ended up being embarrassed. Sometime since most of the times they are the caregivers, they assume they might snap out of it, but unfortunately, they tend to lose the grip on it. And finally, they blame themselves upon their failure.

Self-denial is yet another factor. They tend to deny themselves that they are under depression as they are smiling all the time. They dont want to believe that they are under depression and they show off themselves to be extremely happy and fine. Most of them face the fact that they do not accept themselves as they are at times.

Yet another aspect is they are scared of ramification in both personal or professional matters. Mental diseases are always something people assume is incurable. This fact makes it all the more worst. People worry that their close ones might leave them alone and go away if they even speak about depression. So they seal their mouth and tape it with a smile.

Another main problem is guilt. It attacks the healthy mind from within and damages it. Guilt makes them feel that they should not be depressed, and if they are still depressed, it is their mistake. And eventually, they feel ashamed of being depressed and shut themselves from the world outside.

Again this is priorly because of the unrealistic ideas of happiness that are clouded in their mind. Most of the see these photos and videos that are streaming in these social media profiles and assume this is “the life” and theirs is comparatively boring and monotonous. But they hardly know, what the other might be going through. All the more it makes them again depressed.

The image of being a perfectionist also makes many of us, never disclose about the depression they are dealing with every day. It is hard for them to get down from that crown position and accept they are also normal enough to feel all this.

The Risk of Suicide

Smiling depression, when gone unnoticed, leads to serious suicidal thoughts. And since they are highly functional being under a constant denial of acceptance, worsens the situation. When not treated at the right time, things will never be under control.

What is the treatment plan?

Talk …Talk … Talk .. Speak out more about the problems. Remember we all are human beings who are not so perfect and are likely to commit mistakes. Teach your children, that committing mistakes is not a sign of the weak and even as parents, accept your mistakes too and even apologise for the same.

Make healthy changes to the lifestyle like a good diet, exercise, yoga, mediation etc. And don’t forget to communicate with the right person. At first, even that person might find it tough to handle that change, but give them time, because you were the caregiver all the time, the shoulder to all. You can even approach a therapist. It is nothing wrong in it. It is equivalent to investing in a healthy you.

If you want to help others who are facing it, then, make sure you either help them by being a good listener, talk to them, direct them to such communities, guide them on what all they can do to improve their mental state. And yes, tell them, it is completely normal not to feel good at all the time.

AS I said, give a smile, and be good, we do not know who are facing problems and who is hiding a mountain of problems in their masked smile.