Category Archives: WFH MOM struggles

MOTHERHOOD AND GUILT ARE INSEPARABLE

Motherhood is a delicate stretch in a woman’s life.  It goes with all twists and turns but in the end, all are great moms, not bad, not imperfect but the best moms for the child.

Read through my article for Candlesonline this week. Comments are invited moms…and parents. Thank you

via MOTHERHOOD AND GUILT ARE INSEPARABLE

Interesting Tips to Never Give up on yourself

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It is hard, yet not impossible !!

Yes, we all traverse through certain phases of life, where we tend to give up on ourselves. It is those moments when you feel, you are not doing the right thing, you just want to kill yourself or shut yourself into four walls and walk away from life. For a moment your thoughts are so clouded and nothing seems to be possible. It is a crucial moment , it passes too. But how?

Lets us walk through on situations we give up :

  1. Mostly we all give up , when we are into something new.
  2. We give up when we feel we don’t fit in.
  3. We give up when we are tired.
  4. Again, yet another reason we give up is when we are in a monotonous lifestyle.

If things were easier -it is not life.

If you want to get over a negative thought, then it is up to YOU. As there is none powerful than you around you. No one else can impress you or get you to keep moving ahead, other than you yourself.

All you need to do is talk to your self – there is none other to consult and convince sometimes. Even when we lead ourselves to talk to someone else, it is not going to help, because ultimately we do only what we want.

Focus and try to weigh the pros and cons of everything you do rather than giving up. Understand why you were failing and work on it. There is nothing unachievable with hard work. The key to anything is your attitude and hard work.

Before giving up, try why you were giving it up. If it is something you can work on, then it is always worth giving a try. Always a clear analysis gives you a  clear picture.

If you are doing something new, then you will be confronted by frowns , but can’t help it- either learn to wink it away or just stop doing. But what if you stop doing what you were up to, think who is on the loss? Is it them or you. Give priority to yourself (self-love is not harmful).

Grab your chances, there is no harm in taking a risk for once. Let people blabber. Those who cannot do, they just crib a lot than help you achieve it.

Keep a positive attitude toward things that are happening around you. It repels the negativeness around you.

It is all about choices- take it, you might not be lucky enough to get it next time.

As I was saying…

Never give up on things you do especially when you are objected by someone who may not even understand why you were doing it in the first place.

 

 

 

 

 

The 10 tips that helped me to decide to pursue a job after 10 years

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First, let me confess, It is not an easy decision as it sounds.

It took me a long pause to decide and thanks to my mom and kids, who helped me decide upon it.

Like all other moms, who are into staying at home after delivery, I too had so many thoughts about taking up a career. It was again a gush of emotions.

The guilt feelings that come along were:

  • I will miss the time with my kids.
  • I will miss everything
  • I will miss everything..

and I yes it was all that- I miss tagging in everything I thought about. It was not leading me anywhere positive.

When I consult anyone who knows me very well (i assume), they end up saying conflicting statements.

“you will get, you will do it easily – but yes, it might be difficult for kids”.

it also never led me anywhere.

All i wanted was someone telling me – I can do it, and I am not gonna miss anything because I will be working.

And yes, I heard them, from my kids and my mom. They were reassuring me with their words and my lil one with all the love. It did boost my confidence, sliding the guilt to the slight corner of my heart.

Even though I have all these contradictory thoughts, in my head, I was pretty confident in my own choices. I trust in everything that happens…

And finally, it was the day, when I was supposed to be starting my job(now 9 months to it though) – it swept away my sleep and i was filled with anxiety, but to my happiness, it all went well, rather better than expected.

Thanks to all who made me win the moment.

If i would say- every woman – needs a job or even pursue something that they love to do. It is not just independence that matters, it gives her joy, which knows no bounds. Give her the freedom to choose not permission.

She cannot do it alone, though – as she supports you, you(family, friends, colleagues)  also need to be supportive. Sometime she might be taking her baby steps after a long gap. Hold her and support her, give her space, she is sure to walk along.

My tips to women who are coming back to work

  1. Just relax, it is not a crime to get back to work.
  2. Seek help,  we need not be egoistic.
  3. Don’t strain yourself because only you are there to take care of yourself.
  4. Do not set too many high expectations, take small steps to achieve the big.
  5. Finish your chores, before you are overloaded – always expect the worst and enjoy the best( as a surprise).
  6. Being guilty is common- stop thinking about it and spend your time wisely.
  7. I always thought – my parents did work hard and earn enough to teach me and gain a good education- I should never let it go wasted.
  8. You are good – all you need is a little up-gradation – even an engine requires a service to restart, then why not us.
  9. Never shun away from learning new things.
  10. Network, network, and network- they just lead you or give you better insights.

As I was saying,

It took me a long time to realize that I was on my right path, but yes it took me to the right destiny at the right moment. Hence if you are still in the moderation time of your thoughts.- no worries you are just reaching right on time.

(have patience – the gift of motherhood)

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SACRIFICING LIFE – CHOOSE WISELY — Candles Online

Sacrificing something that you dearly wants – Do you get what you need doing that?

It is important to consider what you do when you are sacrificing something that means to you a lot.  Even though it is not easy, let us begin it from now on.

What exactly means sacrificing one’s life? “It simply means giving up something we dearly want for the sake of others’ happiness.” In this selfish world, does it really happen? Yes, it does. If you look around we can find an uncountable number of people who sacrifice every moment of their life for others. It is […]

via SACRIFICING LIFE – CHOOSE WISELY — Candles Online

 

Yet another week with Candlesonline, sharing my view and thoughts.

The struggled time I stepped out of my shell

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It was a cold winter afternoon. In a new place with nothing in hand but my own little baby, I was like stuck I felt. It was just a few days back we arrived in a foreign country which I was not at all familiar with.

My home was a small service apartment, unlike the ones in India, the floor was dim-lit, no other doors or even noise outside. My floor had hardly two other apartments like mine. I was not sure , what to be done, I got dressed up, as I had nothing at home. And my ultimate aim was to get some food- a new place, unknown location, blank about the locality or currency or exactly what to buy.

I got dressed up, like always,  got my kid ready, took the money and necessary items in my hand. Since it was wintertime, we had to be clad in jackets. I opened the door, looked left and right… it’s all empty… I closed the door and came and sat on the bed, which was the only other furniture I had in the room. I looked at her,  as I didn’t have any around to talk to. I kept asking my 7-month-old girl , who could barely speak.

It took me some time to realize and gather up all my energy and courage to walk out of that door. Finally, I approached the lift, went down. The next hurdle was to get the baby stroller, baby and myself out of the apartment. Since there, were few steps ( yea,  7 outside the glass door to reach the pavement) I had no option to carry the baby on the stroller on to the steps up to the pavement. I stood there, thinking. Then finally I let the baby be inside and then walked out to keep the stroller up and then came down to pick my kid.

Trust me, It was so painful to place my kid on the ice-cold floor (even though completely jacketed) and walk out. Since it was the first time for me, it literally scared the hell out of me.

Finally, we both were out and ready to walk.

Strangely, I didn’t know where the store was put up. But all I did was gather up all my courage to walk down the street. The roads were barely crowded. I kept talking to my baby, that I was scared but we need milk and mommy has no other option.

We reached the store, purchased whatever I could find, then the next was the struggle on how much money I had. Luckily I had enough to buy my things. Then happily, like I just climbed the Everest kind of accomplishment, I walked out of the store.

It was the first time, ever I escaped a panic attack.

Yeat, not forgetting- I literally had touch time to take my things inside the apartment. Like I did earlier, I took my child inside first, then the things- its all about priority right folks!!

This was indeed the first time , I managed on my own in a foreign country without anyone’s help.

The moment I entered back into my cozy space, I was so proud of my self. Even though I sound filmier to you.

 

 

 

The days I want to re-live

back view photo of a woman in black sleeveless top carrying a toddler
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Recently, I had a reminiscence moment when I visited my neighbor.

To remind you, I am mostly quite reluctant to take other babies. Call it my worry that I might lead the baby to cry or maybe because I overthink a lot about not handling the baby ( in spite of being a mother twice). I recall having this problem from the very beginning and it did subside a little when I actually held my cousin’s little baby back when I was in 9th standard.

Basically, in short, I was reluctant to take any baby. Most often I have avoided. People might look at me strangely, but oh,, I have never been bothered about it.

When I held my neighbor’s child, in my arms. I was not actually looking at her- but all I was wandering through those momentous time , when I first held my daughters in my arms. It went in my head like a quick recap.

First 9 years back, the moment I held my first one, and when she grows up suddenly, then finally my little one in my arms. To the yawning baby in my arms, all  I could reciprocate was a smile, which was the aftereffect of the fondest memory drive I had.

It was fun, even if it was short-lived.

Even though I had been through those moments, I just felt like re-living them again. To witness, they sleep, eat, grow, smile everything… I just don’t want to miss it for anything in the whole world.

Growing old seemed like a swift journey with kids around. Until then, everything seemed to be slow, but with them along, time began to slip away from my hands.

All I get is these moments to hold on for a lifetime as a mom. Perfect or not, All I want is them – my daughters my heaven.

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Soul Recitals

 

 

 

A recall

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It came as a shock to me, to realize I have changed a lot from what I was.

It confused me – did I change the way I should, or have I confined to the wall that was piling up on my world?

I simply recollect the time years before, when I first got my job. It was quite a happy moment. I was almost like any other girl, who was loaded with dreams and ambitions to be successful and happy.

Things changed when I now began to resume my job. Even though I am still the ambitious one, with all my dreams in my eyes… still somewhere I was lacking the push from within.

12 years before, my eyes were filled with the aspirations to achieve something. Over the years, burdened with responsibilities and commitments to other activities towards my family, I have become someone else.

Someone else- sometimes unknown to me.

I often gaze into the mirror, trying to identify who I have turned to become. But all I found was a rugged soul.

I reworked and reworked again it took time to polish into the present, yet the scars shined out.

The past is lost forever, I knew I would never be the same. But the new me is all ready for the take-off, but yes with lots of limitations. The ones with me are reluctant about the sky and never want to leave their nest, which leaves me abandoned half the way, not even in the middle.

Even amidst indifferences, here I am waving my arms high up to show , that I am awake, signaling my dreams to come back.

I hope to be the one I was long back.

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SoulRecitals