Tag Archives: #beingmom

The 10 tips that helped me to decide to pursue a job after 10 years

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Photo by Miguel Á. Padriñán on Pexels.com

First, let me confess, It is not an easy decision as it sounds.

It took me a long pause to decide and thanks to my mom and kids, who helped me decide upon it.

Like all other moms, who are into staying at home after delivery, I too had so many thoughts about taking up a career. It was again a gush of emotions.

The guilt feelings that come along were:

  • I will miss the time with my kids.
  • I will miss everything
  • I will miss everything..

and I yes it was all that- I miss tagging in everything I thought about. It was not leading me anywhere positive.

When I consult anyone who knows me very well (i assume), they end up saying conflicting statements.

“you will get, you will do it easily – but yes, it might be difficult for kids”.

it also never led me anywhere.

All i wanted was someone telling me – I can do it, and I am not gonna miss anything because I will be working.

And yes, I heard them, from my kids and my mom. They were reassuring me with their words and my lil one with all the love. It did boost my confidence, sliding the guilt to the slight corner of my heart.

Even though I have all these contradictory thoughts, in my head, I was pretty confident in my own choices. I trust in everything that happens…

And finally, it was the day, when I was supposed to be starting my job(now 9 months to it though) – it swept away my sleep and i was filled with anxiety, but to my happiness, it all went well, rather better than expected.

Thanks to all who made me win the moment.

If i would say- every woman – needs a job or even pursue something that they love to do. It is not just independence that matters, it gives her joy, which knows no bounds. Give her the freedom to choose not permission.

She cannot do it alone, though – as she supports you, you(family, friends, colleagues)  also need to be supportive. Sometime she might be taking her baby steps after a long gap. Hold her and support her, give her space, she is sure to walk along.

My tips to women who are coming back to work

  1. Just relax, it is not a crime to get back to work.
  2. Seek help,  we need not be egoistic.
  3. Don’t strain yourself because only you are there to take care of yourself.
  4. Do not set too many high expectations, take small steps to achieve the big.
  5. Finish your chores, before you are overloaded – always expect the worst and enjoy the best( as a surprise).
  6. Being guilty is common- stop thinking about it and spend your time wisely.
  7. I always thought – my parents did work hard and earn enough to teach me and gain a good education- I should never let it go wasted.
  8. You are good – all you need is a little up-gradation – even an engine requires a service to restart, then why not us.
  9. Never shun away from learning new things.
  10. Network, network, and network- they just lead you or give you better insights.

As I was saying,

It took me a long time to realize that I was on my right path, but yes it took me to the right destiny at the right moment. Hence if you are still in the moderation time of your thoughts.- no worries you are just reaching right on time.

(have patience – the gift of motherhood)

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The days I want to re-live

back view photo of a woman in black sleeveless top carrying a toddler
Photo by Flora Westbrook on Pexels.com

Recently, I had a reminiscence moment when I visited my neighbor.

To remind you, I am mostly quite reluctant to take other babies. Call it my worry that I might lead the baby to cry or maybe because I overthink a lot about not handling the baby ( in spite of being a mother twice). I recall having this problem from the very beginning and it did subside a little when I actually held my cousin’s little baby back when I was in 9th standard.

Basically, in short, I was reluctant to take any baby. Most often I have avoided. People might look at me strangely, but oh,, I have never been bothered about it.

When I held my neighbor’s child, in my arms. I was not actually looking at her- but all I was wandering through those momentous time , when I first held my daughters in my arms. It went in my head like a quick recap.

First 9 years back, the moment I held my first one, and when she grows up suddenly, then finally my little one in my arms. To the yawning baby in my arms, all  I could reciprocate was a smile, which was the aftereffect of the fondest memory drive I had.

It was fun, even if it was short-lived.

Even though I had been through those moments, I just felt like re-living them again. To witness, they sleep, eat, grow, smile everything… I just don’t want to miss it for anything in the whole world.

Growing old seemed like a swift journey with kids around. Until then, everything seemed to be slow, but with them along, time began to slip away from my hands.

All I get is these moments to hold on for a lifetime as a mom. Perfect or not, All I want is them – my daughters my heaven.

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Soul Recitals

 

 

 

Being a mom is more about resilience…

Image result for being a mother

Image Credits: Pixalbay

At times a piece of me always wants to be around you, just to watch you grow. Missing that would be a great loss for me, as all these while I witnessed everything with you, the firsts. It can be termed as something I want to keep it for myself.

I remember the very first touch of your skin in my hands, as I cherish it to be the most memorable one in my life. The moments of redemption that seeps out of me, when you both were born, is exceeding my vision of words. It is a unique feeling, that keeps me motivated all along.

At times when someone asks me, why with all these pain, I endured all along, the difficulties of pregnancy period, that I longed for the next child.

I really don’t know what to answer them, because the joy of watching my kids play together, gives me the answer, which is tough to convey in my words. I see them grow, in every way, like I grew with my sibling.  All these years watching them grow up fades away the pain I endured, bringing me a smile that stays forever until I just have the faintest thought about the pain or stress I had gone through all those months.

Resilience with my self

During the first, pregnancy, it was all the eagerness to know how it will be. As I became a mother for the first time, the joy was profound. It was the beginning of a journey, of a new mom to being a good mom to her, slowly learning through her at every stage. It surprises me, at times, as I am ignorant of what a mother should do in several stages .. Yet I just confidently without taking a step back, walk steadily towards nothing but a goal that is changing every year, as she grows up.

Acceptance 

With my second pregnancy, it was all about, how the upcoming baby would be with my first one. Yes, this is what worried me the most, other than the basic worrisome thoughts about being healthy etc. It is again a roller-coaster ride across the months to balance, emotionally and physically being with both kids.

Understanding the needs of the elder one, compromising on sleep and much more.

Growing up with them is much more fun and learning too. I guess I never learned this much, as much I am learning from being a mother.

Adapting myself 

It is again a greater problem, for me as a person to adapt. At times our inner self is so adamant even to give up to a small child.  It is common, that you might find me still fighting with my kid just like the worst kid at times. It leads me just to think, that AM I actually a mom? Because I am totally weird when I fight with them, even for the silliest things.

Setting an example pressure

OOPS, The big challenge as I say. I am not someone good to be followed – as I am completely indisciplined, and more like a child who is unwilling in many scenarios. I might actually be the big bad example for kids “NOT to FOLLOW”.

It is hard, not to be oneself at times. I can’t act like a perfect mom, and the be a spoiler alert to my kids, instead am the most vulnerable person they might find. One who breaks down, who fails, who is shy, who is incompetent and much more…

so AM I a bad mother?

I really don’t know, what to answer that, but yet I am just a mother who wants to keep her children happier and well-kept.

Even though I break down at many points, wish to quit, or just run away or hide, a part of me, wants to be discovered by those tiny hands who hold me tight, so as I do not fall apart. They make me feel worthwhile, even when the whole world seems to look at me as if I am doing a bad job at being a mom.

For ME, all about being a mom, make me feel enough worthy to be alive.

Being Mom- the best part of being Woman

Image result for being mom

I chose my priorities 

You became my priority

I chose my  insecurities

you chose to be my insecurity

I chose to be your home

You returned to me every day

I chose to be me

You embraced me

I became a mother

As you called me mom.

 

As I caressed my belly …feeling the life inside me

As I looked at myself in the mirror

I felt I was changed

A change, that just brought a smile on my face

I slowly moved my fingers

over the 

belly overgrowing my dress

I caressed with so much love and affection

on my belly like I have never felt it before

the pulse of a life in it brought tickles into my inner soul

the life in me was just a skin distance away from my fingers

the surprise and anticipation that grew in my mind 

was something I could never understand

the wait was too long, yet I loved you ever since you appeared inside me

I waited patiently like never before

just to feel you in my arms

every day, I was fascinated to see your growth

I felt your arms, legs everything grow

I felt your movement with my palms

I could see your action, through the bulge in my tummy

I endeared every move you made inside me 

crunching my organs, yet bringing a smile on me

the wait …was longer, yet I knew I will wait for your arrival.