Tag Archives: motherhood

The days I want to re-live

back view photo of a woman in black sleeveless top carrying a toddler
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Recently, I had a reminiscence moment when I visited my neighbor.

To remind you, I am mostly quite reluctant to take other babies. Call it my worry that I might lead the baby to cry or maybe because I overthink a lot about not handling the baby ( in spite of being a mother twice). I recall having this problem from the very beginning and it did subside a little when I actually held my cousin’s little baby back when I was in 9th standard.

Basically, in short, I was reluctant to take any baby. Most often I have avoided. People might look at me strangely, but oh,, I have never been bothered about it.

When I held my neighbor’s child, in my arms. I was not actually looking at her- but all I was wandering through those momentous time , when I first held my daughters in my arms. It went in my head like a quick recap.

First 9 years back, the moment I held my first one, and when she grows up suddenly, then finally my little one in my arms. To the yawning baby in my arms, all  I could reciprocate was a smile, which was the aftereffect of the fondest memory drive I had.

It was fun, even if it was short-lived.

Even though I had been through those moments, I just felt like re-living them again. To witness, they sleep, eat, grow, smile everything… I just don’t want to miss it for anything in the whole world.

Growing old seemed like a swift journey with kids around. Until then, everything seemed to be slow, but with them along, time began to slip away from my hands.

All I get is these moments to hold on for a lifetime as a mom. Perfect or not, All I want is them – my daughters my heaven.

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Soul Recitals

 

 

 

Effective ways to cope failure in life

Woman's failure thoughts
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Have you ever thought about being a failure in life?

It is indeed quite a burdening thought when it comes to life. It makes us feel like we are true burdens for others. A moment which shatters all the smiles around us. Mostly it happens as a result of postpartum depression or sometimes when we are stressed a lot.

Stress, to mind, is like cocaine to the brain, it brightens the illusions in our mind, causing us to forcefully think of being an utter waste in life. It is hard to digest sometimes, that even the healthy-looking person can be infected by such thoughts.

Anyways, there are no easy escapes, but quite a few tried and tested ones by myself and few I have always observed in others.

First of all, why do we get such a feeling of being a failure?

It is quite easy,

1.Firstly we always see ourselves, through the eyes of others.
2.Secondly, we judge our own capability.
3.Thirdly we assume we cannot do it or even try anything.
4.Finally, we suppress ourselves under a fear unknown.

photo of a woman holding an ipad
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So, you see, it’s not an uncommon thing, everyone has a bit of this in them. You might assume that the successful ones are those who are not affected, but it is not right. They are successful because they fight these tiny demons in them and we, on the other hand, let the demon overpower us.

The sense of being a failure, is quite common in mothers, as the so-called expert mothers -who brand themselves as experts -downgrade the others. Actually it would be better to think none of us is perfect – actually, the children are perfect themselves. Again I am not blaming mothers, I just mentioned that when kids make it easier, parenting just eases and eventually streamline other activities.

When one woman has to undergo the change from a girl to a mother, she is quite surprised as well as alert. She becomes unsure about things related to her and as well as the baby. Giving them sufficient time would be ideal. God didn’t choose randomly for women to be mothers – they are actually crafted for the same, so any woman irrespective of age – turns into a mother when these hormonal changes happen.

Now how do we go about dealing with such negative feelings?

close up photo of woman laughing
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Again it is not easy as pie. One needs to focus on many tiny aspects to bring out a big change. Some practices can make you actually feel good.

  1.   Keep yourself busy.
    2. Keep away from conversation wherein you are sure to be pinpointed. As those who pinpoint just enjoy doing it, irrespective of you being the “centre of attraction”.
    3. Better to do give yourself a break and take up “me time”.
    4. Being a mother is not the first thing happening in the universe, you are just among one in many, hence don’t stress, we all learn from mistakes.
    5.  Accept criticism positively, some are actually an eye opener, again depends on whom you are giving your ears too.
    6.  Take things slowly, give yourself time – we are not born Micheal Jackson to dance away easily.
    7.  Accept failures, there is nothing wrong in it.
    8.  Never give up.
    9.  Keep trying
    10. Keep trying…
    Again, just to put it clearly, I am not an expert too, but all I do is keep looping in the last point in my article – “keep trying “.

All the best to everyone, who are keeping up well and best of luck to all those who want to succeed in life. Every small tiny step counts, so take it – let it lead you to success that none foresee you can ever accomplish.

Further reading

How to overcome the thought of being a failure.

A Work from home mothers struggle.

Effective ways to cope up with failures in life.

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http://www.soulrecitals.com

 

MY LIFE IS THE CANVAS, WHICH THEY COLOURED WELL

This week we were given pictures and had to write on that basis. I was given this:

And it brought me thoughts on my own gems – my daughters.

https://wp.me/p6y9QP-5sV

A pearl that is born out of our core

couple in field
Photo by Georgia Maciel on Pexels.com

Fragrance of flowers

still lingers on us,

like the petals

containing the dew of the first rain

I saved the drops of our love,

in a wish to gift you a pearl;

a pearl, that contains the

the beauty of our core,

which imprints our love

filling in every vein with us

and Just us.

 

 

 

As I caressed my belly …feeling the life inside me

As I looked at myself in the mirror

I felt I was changed

A change, that just brought a smile on my face

I slowly moved my fingers

over the 

belly overgrowing my dress

I caressed with so much love and affection

on my belly like I have never felt it before

the pulse of a life in it brought tickles into my inner soul

the life in me was just a skin distance away from my fingers

the surprise and anticipation that grew in my mind 

was something I could never understand

the wait was too long, yet I loved you ever since you appeared inside me

I waited patiently like never before

just to feel you in my arms

every day, I was fascinated to see your growth

I felt your arms, legs everything grow

I felt your movement with my palms

I could see your action, through the bulge in my tummy

I endeared every move you made inside me 

crunching my organs, yet bringing a smile on me

the wait …was longer, yet I knew I will wait for your arrival.

 

 

 

You strengthen me

you are the sculpture

I worked day and night

you are the fire

that brought warmth in me

you are the reason 

that every day is a promising life for me

as you commenced your life in me

everything around me changed 

I was becoming the more of you than me

you welcomed me, even before you saw me

you lived in me when I was unsure of life

you strengthen my life with your touch

you knocked, when I was alone

ensuring that I knew you belonged to me

As we grow together 

you nurtured me into a mother

as I looked at you, you smiled

ascertaining that you love me 

even when I am vulnerable. 

 

 

I was glued to your life ….

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As I lay there holding my babies closer to myself

giving them the warmth and petting their foreheads

love was overfilling and flowing through my veins to them

the joy was profound and unexplainable

the way they closed their eyes and slowly falling into a deep sleep

after all the tiring day they had

running around making a mess

irritating me to the core and then making me smile again

every single moment I shoot up with anger, the mom in me calms me down

reminded by the innocent smiles that flash on their face

even with tears rolling down their eyes

They cry and yet they never wanted me to cry

the smiles that lit up my life

the big eyes, that showed me a new vision to live

the ears that gave me the super power to even hear their faintest voice in the crowd

the legs that ran around with me in the whole house with the melodious sound of anklets

the tender hands, that comforted me, when I had so much to do

their naughtiness imprinted many fond memories in my heart

at times I wondered what would I be without them

what am now, is all because of them, the love and affection they bestowed in me

their eyes always conveyed me that ” they loved me”

Their hands when held told me that ” they trusted me”

They could walk right behind me, even to the darkest part of life

They gave me the strength and courage to live a life, that I thought was never mine

Their love is my strength

their love is my power

the power that I gathered to handle all the broken pieces of my heart

they glued me into the life they wanted to have with me

And I lived happily with them

Forever….