Mommy musings · Musing and Thoughts · random thoughts · Some Things Important and Unsaid · WFH MOM struggles

Be a listener to your child too

Forget a lot many dreams, what about just one dream, how a normal, average family can fulfill just one of her random wishes.

When I watched the movie “KAPPELA” (Malayalam), it triggered my thoughts. How a girl from a small town comes to a city just to meet a stranger. Strangely she confesses her dreams to an unknown person and only her friend to see a beach. And then she ends up in troubles unimaginable.

Why couldn’t she even ask her parents?

Why she had to even depend on a guy from outside or someone, not her family?

The movie also portrays the scene when the father beats up the little sister, without even asking her an explanation, assuming that she did wrong. Does really beating up, bring up the right kind of well-behaved, girl child. No, you can also instill trust in them, a feeling that no matter what, happens, their parents are strong enough to support them.

Why does a little baby, clings to their mother, all the time, because it trusts the mother. A caregiving hand, which protects her, the baby can even blindly cling to its mom, no matter what happens, because it knows, that protection is intact.  But as it grows up, the child loses that grip with the parents, when it was abandoned even once for a single moment knowingly or unknowingly.

Restore that trust in your child, else you lose them.

Is it a mistake or a strict parenting method?

I do not know. But I feel that it is important for families to give space to their kids to explain their dreams, desires, and needs. Else kids have a tendency to walk to a stranger, who might be a danger or a blessing.

It is not about a city or town, parents who are so glued to their work-life forget that their children for whom they are brooding all the money for, also want them to talk to them and share some time with them.

We can see parents are mostly hardworking and spending each penny carefully, but they are too strict with the kids that make them much more vulnerable. Parents assume that being strict is good, but sometimes, they need to place themselves in their kid’s minds and see what they might need from you.

Some parents, they beat up the girl child, for just talking to boys. Talking never harms or causes any problem, but the child begins to wonder why she was beaten up for doing nothing. This gets rooted in her mind. And since the human mind is more inclined to do wrong things (labeled by society), they tend to do it much more to agitate their anger and frustration.

The child becomes secluded and stops sharing even the tiniest desire they have because they are scared of being judged or scolded or even punished. They start to hide, as their tiniest desires are never being heard and then begins the time when they find their own way out.

Parenting is hard and complicated. , but not impossible.

Be the parent who can help the child open up to you than anyone else. Be the friend who they need and want.

Most of the girls tend to be quiet and start to hide everything from the parents, when they feel that they are judged.  Be the one who listens to her dream or even walks with her to fulfill it. We may not know what things pop up in life, but always, be a good listener. Listen to your child’s argument before jumping into the conclusion. Open up for a healthy discussion- means a clear wheel of conversation wherein you just don’t talk alone but discuss and let the other person put in their share of words too.

Your child may be small, but learn to give your ear to them. Once ignored, they are never going to back.

 

Mommy musings · Musing and Thoughts · WFH MOM struggles

MOTHERHOOD AND GUILT ARE INSEPARABLE

Motherhood is a delicate stretch in a woman’s life.  It goes with all twists and turns but in the end, all are great moms, not bad, not imperfect but the best moms for the child.

Read through my article for Candlesonline this week. Comments are invited moms…and parents. Thank you

via MOTHERHOOD AND GUILT ARE INSEPARABLE

Mommy musings

MY LIFE IS THE CANVAS, WHICH THEY COLOURED WELL

This week we were given pictures and had to write on that basis. I was given this:

And it brought me thoughts on my own gems – my daughters.

https://wp.me/p6y9QP-5sV

Mommy musings · Musing and Thoughts · Romance and Musings

Learning from my child …or unlearning few things

Image result for learning from my daughter

 

The usual lazy afternoons where I spend working as well watching my lil one play around is the common scenario, one might get to see as they come home.

My lil one, who is awaiting her sister to return from her school, forces me to be her game partner. But yes, All I have to do is just listen to her, focussing her, leaving no gap on attending to her words.

And, yes like an obedient mother,, I sit and listen to her, engrossed in her talks, which are sweeter than honey to me.

She was playing with her dolls, one of which was a joker, another one a boy baby and another one a girl baby. She was making up a story and enacting it to me, like a puppet show.

She said that the girl baby is cooking and the boy baby is sleeping all along. To my surprise, the sleeping feminism in me was shaken. I asked her curiously, why is that the boy baby is not doing anything. To this she gave me a weird smiling, telling me ” mama, the boy baby don’t know anything, he just eats“. It took me totally dumbstruck… what!!! what on earth made her think so… Is it my fault .. oh My !! Am I really bringing up another girl, showing her that none of the men works in the kitchen :P.

Immediately, I said ” No baby, you should ask the boy baby to wake up and help the girl baby in the kitchen. The boy baby doesn’t know anything, so the girl baby can teach him and slowly the boy baby will help the girl baby“.

She listened to every word I said carefully and immediately came to the boy baby, waking up from his deep slumber.

Ah! Finally, I saw that the boy baby and the girl baby are working together in the kitchen…

Seriously I felt a great Relief !!!

No words could explain that feeling.

Raising independent women is never easy, but never impossible. I just wish that everyone be it a boy or girl, work with a sense of responsibility towards their home equally.

We don’t want equality , but understanding and sharing. 

 

Mommy musings · Romance and Musings

What do you do when your child demands a new toy? – Parenting muses

Image result for demanding child

 

It is being a long time, I penned something different.

Was monotonicity ever bothering me? 

No, never while I am writing my heart out.

Today, as I was skimming through my insta posts, which I check every five minutes out of curiosity, found a post asking for some honest answers from parents, ” What do you do if your child asks you for a new toy or something new that came in the shop? How do you go about handling the child then, if he/she demands? ” 

It was quite thought-provoking for me. I threw myself on to my chair, thinking deep and investigating my thoughts from every corner of my head. Finally, I found it quite interesting.

What would I do, if I was in such state? 

I would obviously buy it, as I can’t stand my child’s sad face. But is it really right… NO, A clean NO to it. Working on kids demands make them very stubborn and demanding, which is not a wise decision.

We as parents have brittle hearts than out kids, hence mostly, all parents like me, would be melting like ice on a hot day in front of those sweet faces.

But, to be a good parent. Stop melting.

As we are not doing it right. 

If a kid demands, make them understand, that spending a lot on Toys is never feasible. If they don’t try rewarding them . By rewarding, we keep them confident and feel responsible for what they do.

I guess that would be an ideal way to deal than arguing over unwanted things.

What do you say, my fellow friends? Pour in your suggestions. Let us all help each other in making life smoother.